Come fly with me – but please abide by the rules!

KLM – the Dutch Royal Airways or Royal Aviation Company (tomato/tomatoe) its the Netherlands answer to British Airways but with groovy painted planes. From its founders in 1919 KLM is now the oldest running airline of all time.  Transporting 29 million pieces of luggage a day its a rather large operation  and aims not to loose your baggage although this can happen. With 29 million pieces what do you expect?! 

As published on the Dutch Review.

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of long haul flights in fact the longest I’ve ever done is 8 hrs from Manchester, UK to Newark, New York which consisted of me moaning that there wasn’t enough room and watching Twilight…twice! When I go to the Netherlands I always fly KLM – my first trip was with FlyBe then I found out about the free snacks and extra carry on luggage – I really have never looked back although I heard unsubstantiated gossip that I can’t link suggesting that this might become a thing of the past.

Flight etiquette

The inflight safety announcement that we all ignore, in the hopes that in a real emergency we would just know what to do, is a common thing but what about the in flight etiquette? Do you know the rules to fly by? 

I see those confused faces – i didn’t think there was such a thing either but KLM now offer up 9 ways to make flying a more pleasant experience for everyone. So in light of that I thought I’d offer up a few of my own rules for a pleasant ride. So please sit back, fasten your seat belt and pay attention to the following announcement. 

From being mindful of other people’s hand luggage to being courteous when reclining your chair there are very obvious, very rude things to avoid doing on any flight be it for an hour or for 12. 

#1 – SHUT UP!

If you know you’re noisy when you sleep ask your travel companion to nudge you every time you grunt or at least be mindful of others who might want to catnap in the near by seats, including the back row because they will hear you and they will hate you!

#2 –  SIT DOWN!

Dont walk around the cabin for the sake of it. We see you – showing off your new headphones, prancing around in your matching tracksuit, if you need the bathroom just go. Although do not, I repeat do not go into the bathroom without shoes on! 

#3 – Be polite

Don’t be an awkward a*shole to those beside you and to those ensuring your flight is well executed. With 8,700 KLM stewards and stewardesses offering up a smile and remembering your gratuities isn’t too difficult. Greet the staff with a smile and be civil to them and your neighbours – oh and don’t be creepy. Don’t lurk or stare. If you like your neighbouring travel companion watching them breath is weird and they will notice. Oh and share your sweeties – if individually wrapped of course – this way by offering a neighbour a mint you can access it they will want to interact much during the journey. 

#4 – Eet Smakelijk

Open milk cartons and yoghurt pots away from your neighbours. As part of the 24 million meals KL M serve every year be they good or bad, nobody wants to actually wear their dinner especially if it stains or smells!

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#5 – Entertaining inflight entertainment

If like me there is only so much people watching you can stand and you’ve taken your selfies and more arial photographs that nobody on Instagram will even like feel free to partake in the movie selection but take heed.  Don’t watch a movie you know you’ll start crying uncontrollably at, if that means giving the Titanic a miss for the 657th time then do it. Nobody wants to see your crying face or indeed sit next to someone who spends half the flight trying to compose themselves. I did this watching Australia – rookie error. Its a sad movie!  

#6 – Take a few liberties

After you’ve spent your flight stifling in bodily noises, eating more royally than the Queen (or King in this case) – always take the free stuff. If they offer you a stroopwaffle or chocolate – take it! Literally nowhere in the world (I don’t think) offers you anything for free. Don’t be polite and turn the chocolate down! 

So there we have it. My top tips for a your next trip. At DutchReview we would like to wish you a pleasant trip to this joyous cheese loving country and hope to help navigate you around these low lands giving you the low down on everything you need to know during your stay. 

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